Survival Skills

Adversary

Hi everyone,

What is hurtful? What is helpful? Who is foe? Who is your friend?

I have found that what was meant to hurt me, actually helped me. When things are set in motion you have to take a pause AND evaluate what is happening. Is an adversary, friend or foe? If “adversity” can promote me, than we should all look at our adversaries and say “thank you for being my friend”!! I have found that adverse events provided me with the survival skills that lead me to greater opportunities, and a heightened awareness in the environment.

Dealing with an adversarial situation is never pleasant, and can cause a lot of discomfort/stress. These situations are always working against you, and are never meant to support you. These situations hold you down, and hold you back. The adversary can hurt the very core of who you are, and how you see yourself. When you are the adversary, you are seen as the enemy, and unfriendly fire. You are observed as the obstructionist, and a risk. When you are seen as foe, you are seen as dangerous, unapproachable, and a problem. At times you can be perceived as the adversary because of the way you talk,the way that you walk, and the way that you think. You can be perceived as the adversary because of where you come from, and what you represent. You can be perceived as the adversary for any given reason. Once you are perceived as the adversary there is not much you can do to change the situation or the mind of a group or an individual. And you are better off not even trying.

The adversary is waiting to hurt you whenever there is a chance to hurt you. Should you subject yourself to it, or should you walk away, and ignore it? Could/can you protect yourself. Is it possible to avoid the adversary, and minimize the harmful effects of the adversary? The answers to these questions are individualized and cannot be dictated or guided by anyone but you. According to philosopher, Nietzsche:

“What which does not kill us, makes us stronger”.

During these times don’t forget to be a friend to yourself, and accept the situation for what it is. It doesn’t mean giving up. Because accepting is simply surrendering to the moment as it is, and this is essential to ending the adversity.

Adversity can be your university vs.being your universe. In order to overcome adversity, it is necessary to foster resilience. It’s a skill everyone can learn. It’s not something we’re born with.

You can develop resilience by following these strategies:

1) Focus on building relationships.
Studies have shown that strong, supportive relationships are one of the primary factors in building resiliency. Whether it’s family, friends or co-workers, having the support, love and trust is important in overcoming adversity.

2) Accept the change.
When change happens, it can bring pain and hardship, it’s natural to wish that it never happened. Fighting the change will keep you stuck. Instead, accept that this is difficult and then ask yourself how you want to live and what type of person you want to be going forward.

3) Sharpen your strengths.
Ask yourself how you’ve dealt with adversity in the past. In what ways are you strong? Are you a decision-maker? Are you optimistic by nature? Able to make others laugh? Are you persistent? Take time to reflect and build upon your strengths. This is a golden opportunity to recreate yourself!!

4) Act.
Overcoming difficult circumstances can require us to take action. Even if it’s a very small step, it’s very important to move forward.

It may feel as if the obstacles you face are tougher to overcome than those of others. The reality is that every day, ordinary people are required to rise above their circumstances, and continue to move on. We can all do it too!

Use these these adverse moments to build on your life skills. Become a better, bolder you! Embrace your new world feeling more satisfied and renewed!

Please share your beta bold views on this topic. We can all learn from each other. Thank you.

JAM

Disclaimer: Please note that the information shared in this post are my beta bold views, and may not apply for every adversarial experience.

10 thoughts on “Adversary”

  1. Thank you for scripting this. I was quite touched by this article. It truly struck a chord in my psyche. For me, this was a real “food for thought” article.
    I like your strategies to developing resilience in the face of adversity, thus overcoming it. My favorite is sharpening your strengths. However, as I reflect on this strategy, I find myself questioning it. In my experience, people who have the qualities you referenced in this section are the ones that often find themselves in adversarial situation(s). People who are strong, people who do things by the book, people who passionately advocate for justice are often seen as a threat/a risk. Thus, if one continues to develop and exhibit these traits/skills won’t that worsen the situation?

    “Once you are perceived as the adversary there is not much you can do to change the situation or the mind of a group or an individual. And you are better off not even trying.” – JAM

    Question for you, should a person play the fool in other to survive in an adverse environment? Or should one just surrender and walk away from the situation?

    1. It’s never foolish to decide on what’s best for you. Ultimately, it’s your choice! You alone are the best judge of that! What works for one person, perhaps wouldn’t suit someone else based on the circumstances.

      Thank you for your comments and questions.

  2. Great thought process and way to pay it forward!

    I am a strong believer that the redeemed/enlightened should share what they have learned. Testify, if you will. Keeping our adversities to ourselves, in an effort to give the impression that life is great, always. Does a disservice to me, my fellow man and my faith in God. How?

    Knowing I am not alone in this adversity builds relationship. Not only, am I not alone; others have been blessed by it. This adversity, in the moment feels as if its going to kill me. However, if it blessed them, it can bless me too.

    This is how faith is built. Faith comes by hearing, hearing by the word of God. God’s word is not limited to the Bible. It’s the living Word, of the living God. God’s word is spoken through us, to us, for us, by us.

    This is a bold view. Therefore, making adversity our universe, is harmful. We should use it as a course in the university of life. Learn, grow, and pass it. Perception is reality!

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